I've often wondered why "we" (and when I say we, I mean everyone) think certain things are beautiful, while others are simply addressed as mediocre, unattractive or just plain ugly. What happens to us to force our mind and our thoughts to choose one over the other?
I realize now, ever since I was a fairly young child, that I have had self-esteem issues of some sort. My weight, physical features, abilities or lack there of, I have never been TRULY happy with "me". My earliest memory of this was when I was 4 years old. I was what you would probably consider to be a "cute" kid. I had long brown hair, chubby cheeks, and large, very large, blue eyes.
My eyes were never anything that I gave a second thought, until one day on the playground an older, much scarier, kid yelled out.....
"Get out of the way Dog Eyes!"
DOG EYES!???
I was crushed. For the first time, my large, blue, and now as I realized "puppy dog" shaped eyes were causing me to be the center of attention. Unfortunately, at that moment, all I wanted to do was vanish from EVERYONE and EVERYTHING.
Fast forward, 24, okay, 25 years later. The same, unchanged feature, is now, what most people consider to be my most beautiful.
What changed? My eyes didn't.
Did the people that now look at them or into them change?
Unfortunately it doesn't really matter, because the impact of that single incident has followed me forever. When I look at my self in the mirror, I don't see the "big beautiful blue eyes" that others have referred to, I only see the same, large, blue, "puppy dog" eyes from 25 years ago.
So what is it that makes us determine what is beautiful and what is not?
Some people blame TV, music, movies, the media, but I think it's just the opposite.
I think we as "people" influence what "the media" SHOWS us is beautiful.
If all of a sudden, Paris Hilton and Kate Moss were not seen as beautiful by "us", then their faces wouldn't be plastered all over every magazine cover on every corner.
I have vowed to teach my children (one of which is a carbon copy of me) that you can find beauty in everything. You just have to open you mind to it.
Everyone and Everything is beautiful in it's own way.
You just have to find a way to.......
SEE it.
Piekny
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
You're absolutely right about our different perceptions and how "we" all see beauty in different things.
It's unfortunate that the dog eyes comment has stayed with you so long, especially since our fundamental responsibilities as children are to be mean-spirited and cruel and the kid that said it probably thought you were very pretty and didn't know how to say it.
I've learned that one of the best way to help esteem issues is to listen to what people close to you say, people you trust and care about and try looking at yourself through their eyes. Make an effort to see what they see. It does wonders for your self-image. Give it a shot.
Avery
Hmm. Now I want to see a picture of your eyes. :)
I absolutely agree with you that everyone and everything is beautiful in some way. I go out of my way to look for it, because I choose to live in a world of beauty instead of one filled with ugliness. If I may have a GUY moment here, I've said I find the *very* few women who come into where I work attractive. This gets odd looks from some of the other close-minded guys I work with, but just because she might not look like the reedy plastic-filled porn starlets they prefer doesn't mean *I* don't think she's hot.
Ian
I'm sorry I missed your last post. I'm sorry it happened and I wonder if you are okay.
As for this post~ I think when you're a child you're like memory foam...whatever touches you makes an impression. The cruelty of children is matched only by a.) the ability of the 'harmed' child to carry the words for the rest of their lives, and b.) the ability of the harmed child to protect their spirit, nonetheless.
If you haven't read all of my blog you might not know that I have a cleft palette. You have no idea what children can find to say about that. Even though it was repaired miraculously well early on....the words said to me in fourth grade still ring.
But, so does my spirit.
Visit me.
Avery: I wish I could say that "comment" was something I have been able to get past, but unfortunately it's just not true, but I also believe it has made me "try" to be the person that I want to be. I am very lucky to have people in my life that are able to see beauty isn't necessarily skin deep, so I'll take your advice and see what happens.
Ian: You appear to be a "dying" breed so to speak, there aren't many men out there like you. It nice to know there are still some of the "good guys" out there. As for the picture....maybe one day. ;-)
Robin: You are too sweet. I am actually doing a lot better, the trip helped me put a lot of things behind me and I do believe I am finally able to move on. Thank you for sharing something so intimate about yourself with me, I can't even imagine what you went thru as a child, but to know that your spirit is unchanged gives me hope as well. I'll be checking you out today!
Post a Comment